Dear Reader:
Katie Lemontop is no ordinary human being, nor should she be treated like one. If you disagree with this fact, she will personally remove your presence from this Earth. She will not kill you. Instead, she will take you to her private planet where you will be tortured for the rest of your days. Katie's planet is called Internet Land, and she currently has condos for rent for those who wish to vacation there.
Katie's full name is Kathryn Amazing Lemontop, and she requests that you address her by it unless you are an acquaintance or a friend. Acquaintances may refer to her as Katie Amy, and she insists friends simply call her Katie. To be a friend of Katie's is something to boast about, for most applications for friendship are rejected. Addressing Katie is no small matter. If you refuse to comply to these rules, Katie will take you to Internet Land and torture you.
Katie is truly a remarkable person, and she is very wealthy. This is because she owns a multi-million dollar company called Friend-Book. In her spare time Katie likes to write. Katie is the author of the award winning Herold Porter books.
Now that you have received this valuable information, your status is fan. To upgrade your status to acquaintance for free, read and comment on Katie's blog, The Pen is Mightier (http://ktlemonhead.wordpress.com/). To upgrade your status to friend, email Katie.
Sincerely,
Writer
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